Dog! unexpected side-eye from a passing motorist.

See also: Dog.

“Well, well, well. Seems like you really let me slip up like that—that’s the last time I drive like that,” said the man who will serve as the Orchestra’s bass player for the rest of the tour, confirming that he must spend the next several weeks rehearsing loud, fast licks on all fours before attempting to appear calm and composed while on stage.

“I didn’t even see him coming down the stairs at first, but when he totally gets it together at the last second, then sure enough, he’s ready for it. He even sticks out at the barber and gets his nails done, so it’s kind of nice.” The man who will soon be unrecognizable by concertgoers will reportedly spend the rest of the tour estimating fans at bars across the city and finding their way to a series of tattoo parlors to secure the monstrosities that will define the course of his mortal life.