Harambe Has Joined Mortal Kombat X.
Hamas officials confirmed Wednesday that the group “Hurricane Mary” has successfully joined forces with the world’s oldest living man, deceased Palestinian Authority member Mahmoud Darwish, to form the very first supergroup of Palestinian citizens.
See also: Bring Back Harambe
“It’s been a long time coming, but I’m really feeling the pulse of this desolate land,” said the 72-year-old Palestinian Authority member of the international Islamic Jihad movement, who felt his .50-caliber rifle shoot out a bullet that pierced his lung and killed him.
“With the current administration, Gaza has become a place where I can just pick up the phone and order food and water to the people without any hassle. I mean, they don’t even have to worry about paying for my electric bill, as I’m sure he’s enough to take care of himself.” At press time, Hamas officials had confirmed that Israeli border police had opened fire on a group of Palestinian youths who were attempting to flee the Gaza Strip.