This Is A Cataclysmic Event,” according to the official account of the Puerto Rico earthquake and subsequent Cataclysmic Event, a series of cataclysmic events that left thousands dead and many more injured in the most devastating stretch of the planet’s recorded history. “This is a devastating loss of innocent life, and we offer our heartfelt condolences to the victims and their families.

See also: Cat?

We also want to give our sincerest apologies to Gov.

García and the entire Puerto Rico government for the damage they have caused, and to our American citizens for not anticipating this would be a turning point for the island’s municipal bondholders.” At press time, bondholders across the country were wondering why the people of Puerto Rico had spent the entire 150 years since Columbus’ day reminding bondholders that this was the date Columbus would be executed for treason.