Australia Bans Mark Zuckerberg From Facebook CEO By Lobbying Law.

In a move that will surprise no one, the United States Patent and Trademark Office issued a ruling Tuesday that effectively bans Mark Zuckerberg from owning Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

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“We conclude that Mr. Zuckerberg is not entitled to ownership of any mark on Mark Zuckerberg,” said Patent Office director Patently at a press conference, adding that Zuckerberg’s lawyers had effectively rendered moot the entire possibility that they might find Facebook’s then-28-year-old senior executive liable for infringing on the personal property of another.

“At present, there is no evidence to indicate that Mr. Zuckerberg is in any way capable of establishing a mark on Mark Zuckerberg that would be harmful to its holders, and therefore, we cannot grant Mr. Zuckerberg’s request for a preliminary injunction barring others from using Facebook’s logo or community guidelines.” At press time, Zuckerberg had immediately followed up his request for a preliminary injunction with a post on his Facebook page calling out his lawyer and asking for an emergency injunction restraining him from using Facebook’s trademarked phrases.