Toilet Paper Is Money Well Spent.

Saying that the paper bagel proved its worth after hundreds of people tossed it into a dumpster, the owner of a local Staten Island water recycling center told reporters Wednesday that the money he spends on trash day was definitely well spent.

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“Sure, it might look like I’m throwing away a few grand or a few hundred bucks, but who buys the worth of throwing something like that out?” said Joe Caputo, owner of the East Wing Recycling Center, noting that he usually just tosses out the plastic tub of paper that contains the food-disposal paper, but added that when the season was right, he’d get nostalgic about the piece and remember the times when it was recycled.

“I spend a few bucks each month to help pay for the cost of upkeep, garbage, and recycling, and it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It also reminds me of the good old times when I had to haul them to the dump.” At press time, the man who had raised the alarm reportedly got up to go collect the item, but was stopped by Caputo before he could get to the recycling bin.