Your Body Is Not A Job And It’s A Shame That You’re Not Fucking With Me Again,” said the President to his top advisors, adding that he feels like he has “pretty much run it up” and is looking forward to continuing the downward spiral of personal and professional growth that has been his entire career thus far. “I have some really good friends who are doing really well and I’m just hanging on there, so it shouldn’t take more than a few more years for me to get down here with a few junk food commercials on autopilot and a mediocre novel or two before I finally burn through your company-sponsored lunches, build up my debt-based on the amount of time I spend dating undergrads, and then die penniless.” At press time, the President was calling his closest business associate to ask if maybe he should give the book three or four stars instead of four.