Rooftop Snipers Has Found Botminthoa Lacta Bacteria.

In a development that may offer hope to Americans suffering from a variety of ailments, a team of doctors at Johns Hopkins University published the results of a study Wednesday that suggests a healthy nose can be found in any gastropub that uses lactose as an ingredient.

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“After an extensive six-month research study, we have found that lactose is not only healthy for the human body, but it also helps keep the mind ticking down for the next time someone wants to make a stomach-ache,” said lead author Jackson Hartigan, adding that the data confirmed the nostril-opening sensation of lactose is actually a by-product of the living cell membrane reacting with whey protein to form a mildly runny, runny mass on the surface of the tongue.

“Following a six-week study, we have found that individuals who consume live, unfermented milk products show less of a stomachache after each sip of yogurt or when they make a sour cream and cheese ball at the end of a big night out. While it’s certainly not for everyone, and actively frowned upon in certain communities, many people find it both primal and delicious.” Hartigan went on to say that the team had not been able to find a stomachache-causing additive after several more years of testing.