Already sporting a sun-drenched T-shirt tucked into the waist-length garment, area man Andrew Boyle, 34, confirmed Tuesday that after wearing it for several weeks, he will be completely nude by the end of summer.
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“It’s really worn right now,” said Boyle, who added that, despite the fact that he was getting dressed up to go to the beach, he was not bathing or going for a swim, so he was probably doing his part to bring attention to the fact that he was a pudgy piece of shit.
“I have to get back to my job, but that doesn’t mean I can’t continue to live a life of true modesty. I guess I’ll be wearing this T-shirt every single day of the week, no matter how hot it gets. I’ve really got to keep it clean, and that’s just the courtesy of me.” Boyle added that he had to take a few extra minutes to get his hair done because his mother would be looking on while he was in the shower.