At a fast-food place of business where middle-class jobs have become the new black, fast-food worker Thomas Gebhard, 31, told reporters Monday that he had recently been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

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“I’ve been trying different doctors and treatment plans, but I think I’m finally at the point where I’ll be OK,” said Gebhard, hailing the efforts of hospital staff and a team of dieticians to help him lose more than 30 pounds while managing his blood sugar and insulin levels.

“I have some small trials to go through, but it’s looking really positive so far. I’ve been taking insulin instead of insulin, and I feel much more comfortable spending my free time in front of the television instead of hunched over a computer screen all day. I’ve also been taking some extra painkillers to help keep my junk down.” At press time, Gebhard was reportedly feeling extremely well after his fasting regimen had restricted his sugar and saturated fat intake for the past two months.