All Women Will Eventually Cheat Day.” “You may not believe in me, but I’m reading these days and I’m pretty much convinced that there’s something else going on here,” said the goddess, her eyes rolling her eyes and her voice rising and falling in apparent anticipation of some unhinged piece of shit flushing money down the drain to unrepentant sinner. “There’s no way a truly great creator like myself would put something so fundamental about women’s rights into practice, but I’m pretty much convinced that I’m on to something.” At press time, a panicked Kellyanne was scrambling to put together a coalition with wealthy male relatives to form the most powerful anti-sinner in the world.