This is the second night in a row that the local man who reportedly cannot be reached by phone or e-mail has been spotted in the vicinity, this one visibly exhausted and second-guessing himself as he peered around his wardrobe for a shirt that would be just the right size for his shoulders, a pair of sweat-drenched tights that perfectly matched his current state of disrepair, and a pair of slightly puffed-up sweatpants that perfectly covered his supple, underiffield physique.

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Additionally, the man who reportedly has “no idea what he’s doing” was observed eyeing his own underwear drawer for the 13th time this week and reportedly assumed he’d found the perfect pair of sweatpants for him, just like himself.

At press time, the exhausted man was reportedly called upon Saturday evening to serve as his own garbage disposal and to clean up this mess.