’ Says Man To Representative On Oscar Winner’s Desk.

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Wincing and shaking his head at the receptionist as he protested the red-letter task he was being given, local man Adam Michaud told reporters Tuesday that he was actually very proud of the movie he had won the Academy Award for Best Picture, saying that he had never won an Oscar before and that he couldn’t believe the person he had nominated for it, director Martin Scorsese, had decided to give him the honor.

“This is the third time in my career that someone has made me feel this happy, after winning an Oscar for The Departed and, you know, basically anything else. I’m just so grateful I don’t have to give these guys my highest recommendation or anything. I really would have hated to be handed this kind of a gift.” At press time, Michaud’s denial had been reinforced by the discovery that his earlier film, The French Dispatch, had also been nominated for an Academy Award.