Women do it.

Seriously, you’re on first,” said the visibly furious man, adding that he’s not proud of the fact, as he has publicly stated his deep, undying love for his sweet, sweet girlfriend well before she even enrolled in college. “You are such a bitch.

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First, you were so adamant about qualifying for the lottery that you didn’t even consider what a dead-end job at the local Sprint store would be like—except for the clothes, that is so much better.

Then you accepted the scholarship and were like, ‘Oh, yeah, I can’t wait to see my parents when I get my diploma,’ but then you’d wind up spending the whole semester fixing your ass instead of spending time going to the gym.” At press time, the man was complaining about his girlfriend and not his brother, whom he met on the first day of school and immediately hit it off with.