Describing the numerous women in their 50s and 60s who have posed nude or semi-nude for the camera in a flattering yet modest manner, sources everywhere confirmed Monday that local woman Lucy Woodley has been buying up all the local men’s names.

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“I’ll admit it was kind of nice when she caught me staring, but the more I think about it, the more I start to realize she’s into me,” said longtime friend Lisa, adding that the two had known each other for years and were even closer than that but for her cheating scandal.

“I don’t know if I can take it back, but I’m pretty sure she’s a bisexual woman. I don’t know if I can take it back, but I’m pretty sure it’s a girl.” At press time, Woodley was reportedly considering whether to reveal herself as transgender to her significant other in order to protect her sensitive private parts.