Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You.

‘It’s Like You’re Hearing Me But You’re Not Listening To Me,’ Says Man To Representative On Oscar Isaac’s The Amulet Listen Here.

In what many are calling a stunning disclosure, local man Ted Hinze told reporters Tuesday that he’s been listening to his congressman on Oscar Isaac’s The Amulet for the longest time now.

See also: Want A Girlfriend? Just Watch Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

“On his podcast, he talks about how amazing it is to get blindsided by an amulettin while […] you’re out at the bar,” said Hinze, acknowledging that he “would have absolutely nothing against the guy [she’s dating] but “just wasn’t meant to have met him.” “He’s definitely a nice guy—I met his wife, he’s not, like, my type of guy—but I’m also not into his weird religious stuff.

Maybe it’s because he’s my type that he’s always going on and on about how great it is to get laid.

I don’t know.

Maybe I’m just not cut out for this kind of shit.” Hinze added that he’s not meant to be alone in his exploration of life’s most taboo topics.