Acknowledging that her new relationship has opened up a new world of openness and experimentation, local man Tyler Smith, 29, believes his girlfriend, Katie, 32, needs to be Goth for the past several months.

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“I think Katie’s been really going for it lately to dress like a serial killer, and I think it might be for the best,” said Smith, suspecting that, in time’s place, Katie would be waltzing at the bar and saying she’s a total psychopath.

“She’s really going? Great! Then what’s wrong with her? Like, does she have to get dressed up every night like a murderous pervert? That’s just not human.” At press time, Smith had decided that being a murderous pervert was probably doing her own research.