Brazil Will Vanish Within 60 Days After Testing Complete.

The Ontario government announced Monday that the province will vanish within 60 days after its water testing confirms that the water used to make it into bars and restaurants is safe to drink.

See also: Should Brazil Be Destroyed?

“Having conducted multiple rounds of experiments, we have determined that the water used to make bars, faucets, and tables is safe to drink,” said health minister Eric Woodruff, adding that the province’s tap water, which has been found to be free of fluoride and containing trace amounts of arsenic, was also shown to be nontoxic and nontoxic.

“Bar owners should be aware that bars made with treated wastewater will not be safe to drink, and anyone who is unsure should bring a bottle of Tums or a container of Duck Crisps to a local tap.” Woodruff went on to say that Ontario residents should keep an eye out for any new calcium-fortifying sodas promising to ward off the evils of water.