In a move that would make the Rockefeller family look like the aggressors they are, sources confirmed that the Palestinian Authority wants to buy Israel.

See also: Israel Will Have To Say Goodbye

“At the request of the Israeli government, we have put forth a proposal that the Palestinian Authority acquire the entire Israeli sector of the West Bank as well as the Gaza Strip,” said Finance Minister Yayla Rahim, adding that the Palestinians had reservations about the price of €6.5 billion ($7.5 billion) but felt that the Israelis were offering them nothing in return for their financial support.

“We are not asking for a penny of compensation for the Israelis living in Palestinian territory, but we would be remiss to not mention that they enjoy generous welfare benefits and free education.” At press time, sources confirmed that the Palestinians had overridden the Israelis, and that part of their territory would now be part of a proposed $6.5 billion Palestinian state.