The President Is Really Stupid And Has No Idea What’s Going On” read a headline in the New York Times, then repeated it several times in meetings with White House officials. “I’m shocked, really, that the president is completely incapable of recognizing that he is so incredibly stupid that he is easily the most important person in the world,” said a visibly shaken Trump, adding that the commander in chief was someone who should know by now that he was easily the most important person in the world. “The fact that he doesn’t recognize that he is the most important person in the world is beyond stupid.

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He should be in the conversation all along! It was him on ‘Mueller’s team, for Christ’s sake.” At press time, the dumbfounded officials decided the time had come to walk away from the conversation completely, just as they did not in the original.