’ Says Trump To Mohammed Bin Salman As They Set Up Black Rock Casino Near Damaging Assad Nuclear Plant.

Saying they were proud to be spending $1 billion to $2 billion to protect the American homeland, President Donald Trump reportedly told Mohammed bin Salman Monday that they love war.

See also: USA Will Finally Stop Mass Shootings

“We love fighting dirty nuclear weapons,” said Trump to the Saudi crown prince at a press conference, adding that bin Salman had ordered the Saudis to deploy thousands of their troops to in support of Shia militias defending the Iranian capitol.

“We love standing on the border and letting them fight the Russians and the Iranians—that’s what we do. Come on, don’t be shy, tell me more about your family. I’m the bestest, most proudest of scolds.” At press time, several branches of the Trump campaign staff were reportedly throwing around Molotov cocktail while awaiting word from the president.