Denouncing the crust as 'a gratuitous, shallow concession to power-madness,” our man-child Jesus Christ, the light of the world and Light of the World to come, declared on Thursday that pizza was garbage. “Pesio is a nice enough pizza, but it does not even compare to the meat of the true vine,” said our lord and savior, Our Heavenly Father, adding that although it was made from scratch on the farm, pizza was nevertheless a 'delicious shallow-fried crust dipped in some mayo.” “Meat is only the warm, drippings of your bones, and bones are flesh, and man, is it not enough to taste buds to know if something is actually human?” At press time, our Lord and judge was making a discovery that would change His way of life forever.