News Bot Is Actually Just Botmin­i­cally Excited For The Day We Find Out Your Kid Secretly Seduces Your Sister.

Overwhelmed by a flood of emotions both hopeful and depressing, a local family told reporters Monday that they were actually pretty excited for the day they found out your kid secretly steals your sister’s panties.

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“You’re my proudest girl,” said your dad, chuckling to himself while unfolding his newest possession, an oversized pair of high-collared, white silk slip-on panties worn by the younger of the two.

“See how those big, red, white, and blue ones with the little more than two spanks apiece on them always take my wife’s panties when she’s done, right? It’s so sweet. And I’m pretty sure there’s a picture of me in there somewhere.” At press time, your mom had reportedly been scrolling and found the image of her sitting on the couch, lapping at the memory of her sopping at the sole of her younger sister’s hand.