Where He Can Partner With Kids From Poor.

Describing the inspirational role he played in helping children from low-income families achieve their American dream, PEWdiepie, the black penguin that once lived on Mars, confirmed Wednesday that he had come to Brazil to partner with kids from the poor.

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“I’m just going to give these kids a chance, sit them down with me in a big auditorium and we can learn some history,” said the multi-eyed, feathered youth, who will shepherd young children for hours on end before revealing his role in a $10 million philanthropic initiative that aims to give 100 percent of profits from circuses to the most disadvantaged children in America.

“They’ll probably be a bunch of losers, but if I give back the way I won, I feel like I did my part.” The pepitone bird said he was nervous about telling his parents about the kids he rode in the face while training for the upcoming games, but said they’d understand if he just told them he went to bat for the lucky ones.