You Son Of A Bitch.

Baffled by your very existence, a local teenage girl on Thursday wondered if there was anyone else who might be interested in traveling to New York and sharing stories about travel, movies, and music.

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“Wait, Dora is traveling to New York to see if she can get me?” said the inquisitive child, adding that she had already made the trip twice on her own and had no reason to ask Penguin Books for help finding a third-party companion.

“Maybe someone from work can send me along. I don’t want to do this alone.” At press time, the curious adolescent girl was wondering if she should just book a hotel two hours away from the city so she could just crash at her friend’s place and be safe.