Netflix Only Has Porn Now For 60 Minutes.

In a move that will surprise even seasoned viewers, HBO announced Wednesday that the network’s real-time streaming service has only ever existed to stream sexually explicit minutes and minutes of HBO programming.

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“For years, HBO has been the de facto standard for highest-quality television, but with this new streaming service, they’re even better known as premium cable channels only to stream hardcore scenes of their weekday programming,” said CEO Richard Plepler at a hastily assembled press conference, introducing the Emmy-winning drama Real Sports With Lisa, noting that the streaming service would also be the perfect home for stand-up comedy Long John Silver’s Fish And Chips.

“Viewers will also have access to all 14 minutes of The Sopranos, the latest episode of Narcos, and the entire Emmy award season. Not even HBO shows featuring Tony Robbins and Kumail Nanjiani can compare to the authentic, raw talent HBO shows such as Game Of Thrones, Insecure, and In Praise.” Plepler added that the launch of the streaming service would also include episodes of High Maintenance, Game Of Thrones, and True Detective.